Face Off

I am a mother of two!

Lol I love to read and hear those words. When people call and ask “how are the girls?” my heart seems to do a mini back flip each time! Like who, me? Well yes; after five years, God decided to bless me with my miracle baby.

Pregnancy for me has always been somewhat bearable – thank God and this time around wasn’t an exception, well, don’t count the two times I had a cough which was hellish. Funnily, the flu welcomed me in the first trimester and came to say goodbye around the 36th week – I hear it happens alot? Unlike any of my previous pregnancies, this gave me a different kind of strength. Perhaps because of how hard I prayed for it, totally ignoring the nagging fear of another C-section. I recall always thinking about the procedure and cringing every single time. But by the time I hit the 30th week, I realized I had no choice but to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for surgery. This was far from easy as images from the past filled my mind – the fear that surfaces as you are being prepped for the theatre and the great pain that comes with healing.

God! By the time the possible dates were set, I was almost a nervous wreck! The thought of going under the knife, epidural and recovery scared me to my bones! But I found solitude in a great support system as well as in God’s Word. There was a worship playlist on repeat that I listened to almost everyday; giving me all the dozes of courage in Christ that I needed. I also had amazing people check in on me constantly just to make sure I was good – like I always say, God sends us the people we need in the right season.

On the 8th of October, I welcomed my second princess and I received so much strength beyond my imagination and support that I can’t be thankful enough for. (I will share the delivery story another day). From then till now, I am learning the art of taking things a day at a time with the understanding of phasing – knowing that phases come and go and things can only get better. (This is something that can be easily forgotten when overwhelmed with a situation).

Anyway, I found this picture some days ago and thought to share:

Left: after postpartum psychosis. Right: postpartum healthy 😊

I battled with postpartum psychosis Read Here after my first baby which came as a rude shock to everyone. I was placed on medication and therapy for well over a year and during the time, I packed on whopping 20kg! I remember drifting through life not really aware of alot of things as I struggled to find myself. There were so many stressors that I encountered at the time ranging from a really painful breastfeeding experience to a ton of external pressures. Most of which I am fully aware of and trying my best to curb this time around – one day at a time!

Pregnancy and motherhood are indeed blessings. Having ‘suffered’ from it, I was determined to have it differently this time and God is giving me just that. I am joining my faith with anyone out there going through a journey that sparks a vulnerable plug, we will get through it.

Comments are closed.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: