In a class back in Uni, I recall a lecturer saying no individual is 100% normal.
I found it very odd and almost derogatory as my core spiritual belief says we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God in His image. Therefore my interpretation back then was that we were perfect, without flaws. So I found it hard to believe that individuals will posses such imperfections especially when it came to being inately “abnormal”. He however went on to explain that normalcy is on a scale, therefore individuals tip from one end to another depending on life’s circumstances and of course nature.
As most people know, when it comes to mental illness, I have had my fair share. Many years later I have come to admit that Psychosis didn’t creep on me because the signs were there all along.
What people considered as an unusually strong young girl was actually a bomb waiting to explode. Many people find themselves in positions where they have to put on masks to thrive. Those masks are alter egos or a forged personas employed to handle situations we would rather not be in.
Often times, we sink deeper into the role play that we forget who exactly we are because unlike onscreen actors, we forget to drop the costumes, make up and shut down the role. In fact, I am of the opinion that many have spent too much time in an act that reality has been replaced with a show.
Nature will however prevail… someday.
When I broke down, all the masks were yanked off. Brutally taken away without my consent. I was left exposed and bare, highly vulnerable to the harshness of this world. And for the first time ever, I met with myself.
I recall a number of people referring to me as a softie while some couldn’t imagine how fragile I had become. I relied on my husband for everything, couldn’t hold a grudge heck I couldnt even hold on to anger which seemed very much like my first nature! I cried as easily as I laughed and never bothered if anyone thought me weak.
A couple of years after and I recognize the world has played it’s trick again. The mighty walls of defense are back up, therefore the vicious cycle begins again.
I left that class many years ago with a valuable notion that no one is 100% normal. This is why certain people react in ways we can’t explain or we catch ourselves in dire situations not knowing how we got there.
As easy as it is to pack on a couple of pounds from an unhealthy diet is the same way we tip the scales of sanity due to continuous exposure to unhealthy experiences and negative reactions.
Find yourself or be found.
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