I recall as far back as when I was 10 years old, I always fancied being around my family. I was a sucker for relationships perhaps because I was practically an only child. I looked forward to certain celebrations like Birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas and even Remembrance ceremonies of dead relatives! The days when my cousins and friends will gather and I got the inside scoop of what’s going on with everyone. Days before the D-day, I’d visualize in my mind how I wanted to look and how to carry myself, it’s funny that I ended up relying on my mom or sis to dress me up😂
During my teenage years, I was slightly introverted with a high level of romanticising. I day dreamed alot and basked myself in soulful music. Luther Vandross, Celine Dion and Diana Ross were my closest allies. Each song I fell in love with somehow connected to a life situation going on around me or a projected reality. Looking back, those days were somewhat melancholic in nature…
Sometime around my mid teenage years, I found joy in gospel music too and opened up to the likes of Don Moen, Donnie Mcclurkin and CeCe Winnas. I felt slightly alone at some point as most of my friends were into hip hop and rap. They couldn’t understand my peculiar taste in music. Most mornings, I started my day with worship songs, an act that even till this day baffles me considering no one imposed this on me. My most treasured assets back then were my discman, CDs and eventually iPod.
There was a time I got the punishment of my life when I took my CD holder to school and it got stolen… My mom made sure that memory was imprinted on me forever 😪
In retrospect, I realize the power of the genre of music I opened myself to. The high level of emotions, the depth of worship and the ability to express myself with words. Being someone who withheld words and could hardly open up, this has rescued me from the snares of unhealthy internalizing.
It’s okay to be misunderstood as long as you understand yourself; it’s okay to be emotional as long as you let it out; it’s okay to be expressive as long as you edify others and finally; it’s okay to go against the norm, you weren’t made to be anyone else but you.