How easy is it to let go of someone you love. Is it easy to walk away from something you are used to? How easy is it to let go of bad habits? Is it really easy to pick up broken pieces and move on?

Some people are so adverse to change while others just blend in and go with the flow. I have never been a sucker for change but I am learning to accommodate it better.

How do you adjust to life changes? How do you move on? How do you fit in? How does it hurt less? How do you face your present challenges and conquer? So many questions that aren’t so easy to get answers to.

One thing that I have realized must remain constant is Focus. Focus on the reason, Focus on how to thrive, Focus on living, Focus on the things that matter, Focus…

Just as we learn behaviors and pattern a lifestyle, we unlearn too.

Unlearning is much harder than learning. Unlearning takes more time, it takes more strength, commitment, unlearning takes grace.

Have you been in a relationship for so long which ended abruptly? Had to stop eating your favorite meal due to health reasons? Had an unplanned pregnancy? Found yourself being an orphan overnight? These are a few examples of the situations life throws at us that bends us, crushes us under the mighty weight of unlearning.

I have had to ‘unlearn’ many times in my life.

Right now, I am unlearning a lifestyle and a habit (all at once!) and I can say that it is far from easy! Many times, I want to throw in the towel and crawl back to my comfort zone but then I try to focus… I focus on the reason, I focus on the goal and I pick myself up and move on.

Unlearning can be good too, sometimes we need to unlearn some habits to grow. No matter what the situation is, may His Grace be sufficient.

Great weekend folks!



A youthful life lost, within the blink of an eye.

Kola was a promising young lad who had just gained admission into the university to study economics. He appeared eager to get into school at that time, after all he had been at home for two years due to the problems he encountered with JAMB.

During the 2 year period Kola became less interactive at home, he was noticed to keep to himself and stopped visiting the neighbour’s house to watch his favourite team play (because in his friend’s house there is usually full subscription to DSTV, while his own house his single mother of 3 could not afford the full bouquet).

Kola who had a voracious appetite was noticed to eat less and sleep less. Most times he was deep in thought and lost to his surroundings. He had mentioned to his elder brother at one point that he was tired of being alive but his brother brushed it off as one of those ‘talks’ by young men.

Two weeks before the fateful day he had a talk with his close friend Chinedu in which he voiced his desire to end his life. This time his friend informed his mother. A typical Nigerian mother she exclaimed ‘’God forbid bad thing’’. She called her son aside and prayed for him.

The next day, she invited 3 pastors over to the house to talk to him and pray against such bad spirits, but alas he was found hanging from the ceiling in his room dead.

Life was too hard to live, he felt hopeless and helpless in the world.

In a written suicide note he apologized to his mother and two brothers for what he had done. He also apologized to the father he never got to know.

Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. It is the third leading cause of death for people aged 15 to 24 years and it is the second leading cause for people aged 25 to 34 years. Suicide rates have generally increased for middle aged and older adults and 1 suicide death occurs for every 4 suicide attempts. Reports show that women attempt suicide more often but men are 4 times more likely to die from a suicide attempt. Most people who consider or attempt suicide have one or more of the following:

  • Depression – This is the commonest reason people commit suicide, like in the case of Kola above. Severe depression is followed by a pervasive sense of suffering and a belief that escape from it is hopeless. So the pain of existence often becomes too much for severely depressed people to bear.
  • Other mental health illnesses such as schizophrenia, BAD, leading to auditory hallucinations in which a person may hear voices telling him/herself to self-destruct.
  • Use of drugs and alcohol can lead to impulsive behaviours.
  • Crying out for help and not knowing how else to get it. They may not have intended to die but things may go horribly wrong.

Once someone talks about suicide or about wanting to die or disappear even in a joking manner, such conversation must be taken seriously. Any suicide attempt must be taken seriously even if the person was not harmed. It is also important that people with depression or substance abuse problems seek help because these conditions can be treated.


Prepare while you wait

It has been eleven days since my last post. Between that day and now, so much in my life has changed. 

My daughter has become more playful, making me her playmate. Every evening (in the last week) I’ve come home to picnics, medi-pedi, make up classes, art / coloring sessions etc. It’s mind blowing how much energy she displays. I find myself struggling to keep up! 

Also within this week, I began a new chapter of my work life. Many of you guessed from my last post, I was making a major decision. Well, that’s it! 

After six years of working in one place, God decided to move me. To be honest, it hasn’t been the easiest transition. Being the rookie sucks! Many who know me know I’m not that open to change and I can be quite… Uptight! I have now been placed with people who are so spontaneous, it makes my head spin! One great lesson I have learnt this week is to prepare while you wait. 

A lot of times when it seems like we are stuck in a place, we stop living forgetting that every experience counts. 

The more we live, the more we learn. The more we learn, the more impact we have. The more impact we have, the more fulfilling our lives are. 

I know it’s not easy taking that leap of faith to prepare for something you haven’t even perceived is in sight but that’s why it’s called faith! 

Many thanks to those who prayed me into this new chapter, I hope to prepare even as I wait for the next chapter! 

#inothernews this just happened:

Art on my fridge

I have told the culprit to clean it…. I can’t kill myself!