Bad Habit…

I have a bad habit.

One which is clearly defined in the Bible passage that says …’let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us’ Heb 12:1.

I ask myself, can I stop?

I know I cannot, even if I put all my energy into it. I also know it isn’t something I’m proud of. I struggle each time I am tempted. I clearly see a way out as the Lord promised but I fall. I fall really hard, flat on my face.

Praying afterwards is hard. Speaking to the Holy Spirit is a chore. I face condemnation. I witness guilt. That voice tells me I have messed up.

It questions my being, it questions my spirituality.

Oh! if only I can leave it all behind. I have carried this cross for as long as I can remember. What a day it’ll be when I can look temptation in the face and stick my tongue out at it and walk away.

I know I am not alone.

As lonely as it feels after I have derived pleasure from it, I console myself knowing there is someone else out there going through something similar.

Is your spirit willing but the flesh weak? Do you fall for that sin that easily sets you back?

Take heart, you are not alone.

I find consolation in the fact that every day, I am a step closer to my redemption. The Bible says ‘Flee all appearances of evil’ if only we heed this.

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