I consider myself to have a pretty dominant personality.
I am not the type to allow myself be bullied. I sometimes come across as stuck up / uptight or even a bully – (some of my friends told me this over the weekend). I have very strong opinions and believe that I am right most of the time. Sometimes even when I sin, I make rational excuses and try to discuss it with God. I guess God knows me so much as He always wins the arguments.
It takes a lot to be friends with me and even more to be my spouse.
I can be really fussy and petty, oh yes, and very emotional. Little things get to me. When I watch movies, I visualize myself as one of the characters. When I read, I assume one of the roles. I remember when I got to read Toke Makinwa’s book, I couldn’t sleep on the first night. I had a banging headache. The image of the gas explosion and her mom burning kept playing in my head, I came close to experiencing the emotions she portrayed.
I try to be at peace with everyone, I really do not like fights. Fighting for me is weakness. It gives the devil a foothold and exposes everyone’s weaknesses.
In my marriage, I especially do not look forward to fights. My husband and I are both ‘strong headed’ and we often times like to prove who’s right. This doesn’t always go down well. Recently, I have been learning to pray for him even when I am angry. This is really tough. I feel like God is teaching me to humble myself more these days.
I have recently tried apologizing genuinely to anyone I hurt (before, I just apologize for the sake of it), I try to see things from the other person’s perspective and strive for peace. Indeed this is against human nature. I have come to realize that the flesh is self-centered which makes living peacefully with others a really gruesome task.
How then can this be achieved? Ever wondered what life will be like if we all lived in harmony? How many marriages will be saved if only we humbled ourselves?
Allow yourself to be an instrument of peace.