I woke up feeling really tired.

We had gone to bed with the generator on because we were one of the few who didn’t have light thanks to our weak transformer. My husband must have gotten up to turn it off as I remember waking up in my own sweat. As if that wasn’t bad enough, my daughter woke up cranky. Bath time has always been a mini war as I struggle to scrub her clean. Brushing her teeth is another matter, I find myself taking on different weird positions just to ensure I brush her teeth well.

This morning was no different. She cried, struggled, kicked and screamed. I began to question myself.

Was I too soft with her?

Do I not have control over her?

Am I weak?

If there were two or more of them will I die?

So many women out there are raising children on their own. A lot of women around me have two or more children. I tell myself, if they can do it, so can I. This is indeed a mental note I have to keep repeating to myself. It actually makes me appreciate how different we all are.

I used to think I was born ready to be a mom. All those years I looked after my niece deceived me into thinking it wasn’t so hard. I recall judging my sister a lot. Thinking and saying things like she can do this differently, she’s spoiling her baby, blah blah blah. Reality hit and hit very hard.

Sometimes I just give in for peace sake. I do not consider myself as weak, in fact I make a conscious effort to be subtle as I know how aggressive I can get.

(Enough about this morning)


A person’s background matters a whole lot.

Ever wondered why there are so many failed marriages around? A number of us grew up in a polygamous or single parent home.  We have little or no idea of how a sound marriage should be like.

I once met a guy who stated quite vehemently that he was definitely going to cheat on his wife because he knows his dad does it and it really isn’t a big deal. That conversation broke my heart.

In our society today, we spend more time and energy fighting for things that aren’t so important. Some of our men have taken the back seat and pushed the women forward to take on manly roles. Some women are chasing facades / dreams that only happen in fairy tales.

How do we keep up with an unhealthy trend?

Before you make a harmful life-changing decision like having two or more separate families, consider first its impact on your children and the start of an unhealthy trend in your lineage. Polygamy, incest, broken homes, etc. creates insecurities or worse in children which lead to broken adults, which leads to a dysfunctional society.

Do not be deceived, history usually repeats itself.

Ever wondered why you end up like that one parent you tried so hard not to be like? Have you found out a particular pattern of events happening in your family? Did the same thing that happened to your mom happen to your or any of your siblings?

Ephesians 4 vs 22- 24: 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

There is hope, there is newness of life in Christ.

One reason why I keep sane, regardless of whatever goes on around me is that I try to keep my focus on Him. I really try to unburden myself and live free. I choose not to allow a dangerous trend re-occur in my time.

You have the power to choose too.

6 thoughts on “Choose…

Add yours

  1. I have the power to choose. Thanks D.God bless you.

    Try singing to Lizzy when brushing her teeth. I do that to TZO and it works. .

    Dupe you are stronger than you think. Way stronger. Thanks again. Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Feel exactly the same way…to bath my daughter when she’s not in d mood is like a war zone.let her get involved in her bath time, once they see they are giving responsibility like just to hold a bowl of water and pour on themselves, they start looking forward to Ayo said, sing to her ..this is the way you brush ur teeth and when u r brushing urself..sing to her that u r doin the same, me with time she will get excited and for it..even my 3 yr old I’m still learning techniques..sometimes I feel I’m going to pass out when she starts..dnt wry u,ll get there

    Liked by 1 person

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