Before you say ‘I do’

I searched for the internet meaning of marriage and found this on as a suitable definition:

A formal union, marriage is a social, and legal contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally, economically, and emotionally. The contractual marriage agreement usually implies that the couple has legal obligations to each other throughout their lives or until they decide to divorce…

The Bible (after the creation of man … and woman) gives us a picture of marriage: Gen 2 vs 24 “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

There are similarities between both definitions. We have the man, the woman and the word ‘unite’. ‘Unite’ according to the Merriam Webster dictionary means “to join together to do or achieve something.” Can two unite work together unless they agree?

Sometimes, we forget that for any relationship to work, we must first of all ‘agree’.

A number of us (due to many reasons) compromise on our standards just so that we make the relationship work. We forget, that we cannot kid or lie to ourselves forever. Soon, our ‘real self’ re-surfaces and then we begin to have issues with our partner(s).

I have compromised more than once before. Gone into relationships, throwing all my standards and values aside just to make it work. It hit me badly, I paid for it with heart breaks.

Looking back I can only thank God for the lessons learnt.

Marriage unlike a causal ‘dating’ relationship, is not so easy to opt out of. We consider the time & resources we have invested, we consider our children, we concern ourselves with what people will say. Going by our standards as Christians, (‘God hates divorce…’ Malachi 2 vs 16) we must try to get it right once and for all.

I was involved in a discussion earlier today about being ready for marriage. Is anyone truly ever ready for the big step? Are we ever prepared to be a good wife or a husband? Is it innate or do we learn?

Here’s what I think, the Lord prepares us for every phase of our lives. This means that we kind of get an ‘expo’ in preparation of what is to come.

The people and events we encounter all work together to make us who we are. I used to be very afraid of marriage even though that was my dream, but everything that I went through before saying ‘I do’ shaped my personality and prepared me for the life I’m living today.

It is a fact that unfortunate unplanned things happen sometimes, witnessing your parents go through a divorce, the death of one or both parents, being brought up by a single parent and so on. It is also a fact that we are usually a product of our background, BUT “with Christ all things are made new” 2Cor 5 vs 17. We can decide, choose or renew our pathway.

Before you make a decision to begin a marriage relationship with anyone, consider your values, think about what you stand for and do not compromise.

Remember – God will not give you more than you can bear, 1Cor 10 vs 13


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