I met my husband over nine years ago.
I was a broken young girl, lost in myself, trying to find my purpose. I was at a point in my life where I questioned everything, struggled with my self-confidence, aspired for more. I was offered an opportunity to school in the United States of America but I turned it down. I know you might be wondering that I have many issues (I probably did). Here’s my reason, I just didn’t fit in… I felt out of place, I really struggled to fit in. This might be a result of my rigid not so flexible nature, I didn’t like change – I’m much different now. I remember crying myself to sleep and pleading with my mom to come back to Nigeria.
I eventually moved back and began my tertiary education in the University of Lagos.
After almost two years in Uni and recently ending a messed up relationship with a guy that swindled me of my money – yes, o gba mi gaan. I recall being really broken, it was so bad that my anthem was ‘I bruise easily’ a song by Natasha Bedingfield lol (it really purged me of all the tears I had within me).
I remember telling my friend Neny that I could never date Mr. A. ( he was an option as we had recently began our friendship and I think Neny had a hunch that he liked me), he just wasn’t my type! Yes, he drove a nice car, was very popular and had a flock of girls around him ( we used to call them Charlie and his angels), I felt he just wasn’t my type. We got closer when I ended my previous relationship (with Mr. Swindle), he helped me heal by being there and having the right words to help me move on.
I personally feel we started off on the wrong grounds. I was heart-broken, he was my rebound guy, and he wasn’t looking for anything serious. I remember him asking to be my second boyfriend lol (this was when I was still in a relationship wirh Mr. S), so it was purely for fun! And fun, we had! We partied, went everywhere together, we had our own clique, everyone was buzzing about our relationship. I seemed to have captured the heart of the very popular play boy. This went on for well over two years (until we graduated)…
(I know so many girls cannot date their classmates or their church members lol).
…then reality hit…
I was off to Abia state and he to somewhere in the North for NYSC.
We drifted apart. I allowed the freedom get the best of me, I craved for adventure, allowed myself sink into deep lust for adventure.
Every time we were apart within those years, was lonesome for me. I was having a lot of fun but deep down I was lost. There was a deep void I tried so hard to fill with new friends, boys, work. It seemed like a part of me was missing. I kept stumbling and falling, making the same mistakes over and over again. I was too stubborn to realize the truth, I did not want to be held down by anyone. I remember ‘falling’ into a serious relationship with someone else. Mr. A remained the first person I’d call whenever anything major happened to me. I was a thorn in his flesh. I was not willing to let him go / move on. Something in me clung to him with all I had.
The breaking point was when the ‘serious’ relationship which almost got the best of me, ended nastily. Then, it seemed like there was no way forward. I had committed myself to the wrong relationship, given a lot of me. I was weak and confused, I had nowhere to turn…
I am glad I opened myself up to God and finally asked Him to show me the way. I likened myself to the prodigal son who turned his back on his family but realized (thankfully not too late) and went back home, into the open arms his father.
My good friend, Funke introduced me to the Singles fellowship of Fountain of Life Church. God met me there. All the lessons / teachings I received seemed to prepare my heart for something great about to happen to me. I received the blessings of Romans 8 vs 1 which says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus (NLT). Gradually I accepted and forgave myself. I was able to tease out the lessons of all that I experienced and worked on being a better version of me.
Little did I know that as God was working on me, He was working on Mr. A. He prepared both of us even through our mistakes and worked out a seamless, glorifying way to bring us back together (this story is saved for another post). I have no doubt in my mind (regardless of whatever we go through together) that I married the one God Himself set apart for me. I am Home.
I know as young women, quite a number of us are confused by our emotions, we seek the things we want over the things we need, we concentrate on ‘falling in love’ rather than deciding to love, we leave God out of our decisions on who to date, etc.
I hope to encourage you today.
Find out the purpose of God for your life, mature in Him, find yourself and let Him show you how and who to love.