A lot of people in my life do not understand why I remain friends with some people. Friendship for me is deep. It is a place where souls connect, where relationships are strengthened, where likes and dislikes are discovered and so on.
A while ago (many years before I got married) I was very scared of the idea of marriage / getting married.
There were so many people around me who had what I consider bad marriages – the men were either cheating or hitting their wives, the women were either unhappy of lost in their world abd so on. It was really horrid. I battled for many years, the thought of marriage.
Was this something I wanted to venture into? Was my husband going to be like the men around me? Was I going to be happy? Was I going to regret my choice? Was I going to have kids? Would I be a good wife and mom? Would my husband cheat? Would I cheat? …
This was a fight I fought all by myself. I sort to seek the answers one way or another. I discussed it once with my mom who reassured me that my marriage will be anything I want it to be. I know that didn’t pacify me. I had to dig deeper… what exactly do I want in a man, was his spirituality something I cared about? Was it about money? Was it about his looks? Was it about his genes? What exactly did I want?
I can tell you that the answer did not come to me at once. I went through a number of heartbreaks and pain before I got to where I am.
Below are some factors that affect relationships/marriages based on my experience:
- Spirituality / Religion – consider this before going into any relationship. Are you on the same page when it comes to Religion? A lot of couples disagree on religion (especially when children are involved) thereby causing discord in the home
- Culture / Family background
I know the experience is different for everyone however, one thing is for sure, the best marriages are built on friendship….