Random… Marriage

A lot of people in my life do not understand why I remain friends with some people. Friendship for me is deep. It is a place where souls connect, where relationships are strengthened, where likes and dislikes are discovered and so on.

A while ago (many years before I got married) I was very scared of the idea of marriage / getting married.

There were so many people around me who had what I consider bad marriages – the men were either cheating or hitting their wives, the women were either unhappy of lost in their world abd so on. It was really horrid. I battled for many years, the thought of marriage.

Was this something I wanted to venture into? Was my husband going to be like the men around me? Was I going to be happy? Was I going to regret my choice? Was I going to have kids? Would I be a good wife and mom? Would my husband cheat? Would I cheat? …

This was a fight I fought all by myself. I sort to seek the answers one way or another. I discussed it once with my mom who reassured me that my marriage will be anything I want it to be. I know that didn’t pacify me. I had to dig deeper… what exactly do I want in a man, was his spirituality something I cared about? Was it about money? Was it about his looks? Was it about his genes? What exactly did I want?

I can tell you that the answer did not come to me at once. I went through a number of heartbreaks and pain before I got to where I am.

Below are some factors that affect relationships/marriages based on my experience:

  • Spirituality / Religion – consider this before going into any relationship. Are you on the same page when it comes to Religion? A lot of couples disagree on religion (especially when children are involved) thereby causing discord in the home
  • Culture / Family background
  • Principles
  • Finance
  • Communication

I know the experience is different for everyone however, one thing is for sure, the best marriages are built on friendship….

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3 thoughts on “Random… Marriage

  1. oyinkan says:

    Short and sweet! Thanks Dupe.

    I also used to question the idea of marriage because of what I was seeing around me.
    Yours mum’s words are true, God who knows us more than we know ourselves also richly blesses us with who he knows will suit!

    I’ve learnt that Friendship is so important, it facilitates openness and understanding among people.

    Liked by 1 person

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