2014

As 2014 draws to an end, I can’t help but reflect on the past months. This year has really been good to me. In fact, it has been amazing.
I gained so much, learned so much and grew so much!

I recall the crossover service into 2014, I was with my husband, my MIL and his niece. We had so much fun singing praises and praying into the new year! The theme for the year 2014: My Jubilee year of experiencing God’s increase.
You should know that I was never into all that stuff. Crossing over into a new year was always weird for me. When I was younger, it scared me to bits. The anxiety of what the new year would bring, the fear of uncertainty, the pain of the previous year… there was always something to be sceptical about. But this was different, I guess the euphoria of being a newly wed helped. I felt free, so I let go and let God.

That theme is definitely my testimony for the year 2014. The increase I experienced as an individual and as a family is supernatural. My mind could never have comprehended this! So I am indeed very thankful to God for a blessed year. Through my weaknesses, through my unfaithfulness, through my inadequacies, God showed me His Grace on levels that my mind never thought possible!
So much joy feels my heart as I type this. The thought of some of the grievous years I have had in the past flashed through my mind a few days back. These negative thoughts got me so down, I almost let the devil steal my Joy.
Not anymore!
Some people close to me have a different perspective of this year. They lost people close to them and got disappointed on so many levels. I know they are unhappy just as so many people out there are grieving into the new year.
Remember this, Joy comes with the morning. The Lord will replace the sad memories with pleasant ones. So pleasant, you will remember the pain no more… Amen.

Many thanks to my wonderful friends and readers. You let me disturb you with my thoughts and feelings, for your comments and criticisms, you keep me typing. Let’s achieve more in 2015!

Here’s to an amazing year ahead, regardless of the scary predictions of how it will be, I serve the God who controls the universe and He is working everything out for my good. Nothing and no one can steal my joy! If you believe, tap into the blessings and miracles that are available. God bless us all, Happy New Year!!

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Superhero Husband

Kudos to the men. I mean the men have really stepped up their game! Gone are the days where there were clear cut role dos and don’ts in marriages.
Back in the days, a man couldn’t be caught dead sweeping the floor talkless of helping out in the kitchen. Kitchen duty was strictly for the women, house cleaning – God forbid, babysitting… stop jonzin woman!

Things are quite different now…

As I look outside my kitchen window, I notice my neighbour’s husband (a very seasoned Ibo man) sweeping the front of their apartment! For a moment, I believed I was dreaming, a very surreal dream. But this, this was very real! He took his time to sweep thoroughly, cleared the mess his son made in the compound, washed the car, the chores seem endless.
My Ibo neighbour is not alone in this revolutionary trend, my Yoruba neighbour (with a pregnant wife) does the same thing. It can be argued that he is handy because of his pregnant wife, but this has been going on since the day they moved in although I always said it was because they were newlyweds.

I thought of the mall husbands, the brave men who carry their children while their wives stroll pretty. I won’t lie, I stare at them hoping to see beyond the possible facade they always look so handsome and perfect!

I call modern husbands superheroes because they are!

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Photo credit: Tolu's dp

Photo credit: Tolu’s dp

The sound of my baby crying brought me out of my deep thoughts. Hubby will attend to her, I continued my kitchen runs.

Adulthood

I got a taste of the life of a working wife and mother. My goodness! it is far from easy! Two days of work got me edgy, cranky, sad, tired, sprawled on the bed snoring with my mouth wide open; no sexiness here.

Adulthood… it came too fast! I miss being a baby, being spoiled by everyone, I miss Uni parties, I miss my weekly allowance, I miss waking up at 10, I miss seeing late night movies, I miss eating junk, I miss being lazy, I miss…

Adulthood, it blessed me… gave me my soul mate, made me a woman, taught me love, made me responsible, showed me my purpose, provided me with endless possibilities, gave my life a meaning.

Adulthood… the journey.

Naked

Never have I felt so vulnerable. His eyes roamed all over me, taking in the smallest details. I shifted from one leg to the other, trying to figure out a way to hide myself. My hands weren’t an option at this point- I couldn’t be so obvious. As he moved closer, I felt my legs shake ‘please don’t fail me now’ I whispered… I have to be brave no matter what.
Each step he took towards me was torture; he had eyes that seemed to pierce deep into my soul; searching me, exposing all my flaws, tearing down what I thought were my solid walls of defence, digging in far beyond my obvious nakedness. I backed up, looking for cover, anything will do at this point!
I found nothing… I had gone too farwith him, there is no way out. I accepted my fate as I realized that this was turning out to be weirder than I expected! I never should have fallen so hard… At a point, my ego told me I could handle it – ha! Yea right! I closed my eyes and prepared myself.

It suddenly didn’t feel so bad. The less I fought, the better I felt. I peeked from behind my closed eyelids, he offered a reassuring smile… hmmm! I won’t be fooled again by his charming smile, No! I tried calming my racing heart, maybe I could take control. He had gotten close, barely a foot away… I could feel him. What was his game? What move was he going to take? My head started to spin all over again.
I collapsed, collapsed right into his arms – there was no point fighting it, this is what I signed up for.

Being completely open to someone especially in marriage is a scary thing. Allowing another human see the real you – your strengths, your weaknesses, your highs, your lows; really isn’t an easy task. The fear of being vulnerable is constant, the dread of the person taking advantage is ever so imminent.

Regardless of these possibilities, a marriage needs complete openness to be successful… my humble opinion.

P.s. still trying to take control!

Depressed

Depressed… Tired… sometimes I don’t know what to call it. That moment when all the sad events you’ve been through floods through your mind, the moment you feel a deep regret for actions taken, the hollow feel of loneliness, the dark creepiness of pain.
People don’t get it. They think they know but they don’t. They see me but I’m more visible to myself. What good can I possibly offer? Surely no one is as stupid as I am. My strength fails me, how can I be so frail? All hope is lost, no one can get out of this alive! The world has lost the good ones, the bad have been left to rot. Nothing and no one can save us, the end has come!

No, all hope is not lost. I have found you. My Light will shine in your darkness, the pain can’t stand my presence. I, the Lord, will wash away the filth of your past. Condemnation knows you no more. Awaken child, death has been defeated. My purpose for you is to live – live a life of abundance.

Dedicated to the weary & depressed… There is hope…

Freedom

I started typing this post with no clue as to what to type about. The more I type, the more I realize I can do all this because I have freedom.
So many people are under captive one way or another; physically, emotionally, psychologically. The ability to want something and go for it / get it is truly freedom. I have been held captive before so I know the feeling. War, slavery, bad relationships, bad marriages, are a few platforms for captivity.
Not wanting to delve too deep into this topic, one thing I know for sure is that there is freedom in Christ Jesus. Being a Christian has opened my eyes to see far beyond whatever is going on around me. I refuse to be perturbed by the negativity all around especially in the news!
I have the ability to shape my world (Dupe’s world) into whatever I want! Of course, death, starvation, slavery, war, bad relationships, bad marriages aren’t part of the plan!
Good night!