‘Egypt’

Lately, I have been thinking about the curse of divorce and unfulfilled marriages.
What goes wrong? Why do you see two people who can hardly keep their hands off each other, end up barely able to sit in the same room? I envied quite a number of relationships in the past and it is so sad to state that most have been dissolved.
I have always been a sucker for love, fantasizing about the romance, adventure and kicks of marriage; but I always had my doubts. I realize that most times, people end up with the wrong partners. How else can I explain it?
We tend to love the wrong people so hard, hoping our love turns their indifference to love. I recall my many failed relationships in the past; I fell for the wrong things, stayed for the worst reasons. I have come to see that meeting those guys wasn’t the mistake, wanting more was.

Yesterday, I read a post on http://www.cooliee.com (it’s worth a read) titled ‘Are you a Season or a Lifetime?’ and it all clicked.
We fight for things people that don’t belong to us. Dating someone for x years does not translate to an automatic pass for marriage.

I believe that nothing happens by coincidence; the fact that someone walks into your life definitely means there is a purpose but how accurate are we in determining what the purpose is? I call it a trip to ‘Egypt’. The Israelites were made for the Land of promise but they made a detour to Egypt and ended up living to become slaves (ref. Genesis from Chapter 42).
‘Egypt’ here represents that brief phase in our lives where we find answers to our issues solace / comfort in something / someone… but it is temporal. ‘Egypt’ isn’t the promise land so why make a home out of it?
I built a home in ‘Egypt’ once, it seemed to have all the answers to my prayers; adventure, romance, all things I considered good. God came through for me when the walls came tumbling down. I lost everything and I almost lost my life.
I learnt the hard way that somethings / some people are ‘seasons’ and not a Lifetime. My prayer is for God to give us wisdom to discern the two.

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The lights started to go dim, the constant beeping sound of the monitor was faint. I could hear my husband cheering me on, a weird looking woman peering down at me. I didn’t seem to understand the gravity of what was going on. Why were they all staring at me? Was this the fashion contest I had practiced for for so long? I never held the spotlight this long! I had better enjoy it before it ends… but hold on, why wasn’t I walking or moving? It seemed like I had a giant chain holding me firmly to a hard surface. I tried to move my head in search of my husband, surely he had the answer.

A loud high pitched sound suddenly pierced the brief silence that had filled the room. Ugh! What was that?! My eyes found my husband, he was all smiles about something. With his long hand stretched out, he seemed to be pointing to something, obviously elated. I didn’t think there was anything to be happy about. I mean was I being kidnapped right in front of him and he didn’t mind? Was this a joke?!

Then it caught my eye.

It looked human, had arms and legs just like us. Why was it’s face so weird with a mouth so wide open?!
Then it hit me… With what seemed like a loud bang, I was jolted to reality. I just had a baby! Wait, what?? My husband obviously was more in tune with reality than I was. He called my name continuously, almost like a scratched CD only he sounded far more enthusiastic.
I recall that it was a beautiful moment though, I stared, then I smiled, then stared all over again!

The birthing process is the most intriguing aspect of our being, right from conception to delivery. From the butterfly fluttering feel, to the faint kicks, to the jabs and very weird movements (my tummy would suddenly rise some inches high while my baby stretched – creepy), to the waddle (cheers to my colleagues who mimicked my walk – God remembers). Let’s not forget the morning sicknesses, cravings, hormonal changes, emotional changes, psychological changes… no be small matter. It’s so awesome! I think God is just an amazing, highly detailed and creative creator! Everyone has been made so distinctively special, He even relates with us in acknowledgement of our individual personalities! It makes me wonder why we  try to be people other than ourselves.

Sooo, I realize most of my posts are about this but I really can’t help it! Bear with me and enjoy it o as you follow me on this wonderful new adventure! 🙂

Written

He loves me right… that’s me putting my thoughts to words, not spoken but written. The best words are often times unspoken. Words like: love, beauty, always and forever die with our thoughts, never getting a chance to be spoken…or at least written.
So I decided to write a fraction of my thoughts. The part that burns with passion, love and gratitude. My conscience, my spine. My strength, my support. My smile, my tears. My blessing, my favour. My trust, my sigh. My always, my forever.
Sometimes words make no sense till connected to another; I make no sense till I’m connected to you.
Are you wondering if I’ve lost my mind? My mind is indeed lost deep in you. My love. My thoughts. My words. My world.

In loving celebration of a great man.

Sleepy…

So I am up thanks to my Princess who decided to be very fussy tonight. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I decided to take a trip to my mom’s room. Her granddaughter wanted to say hi, who am I to hinder such amazing love? After a few minutes of lies truth about how Princess had cried for her grandma, I found ways to sneak away (make I enjoy grandma o while she still dey here).

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How do working mothers cope? I mean how do they stay up most of the night and function properly at the office? I just realized my prayer points have increased to accommodate that phase of my life because you see, I love sleep… I love sleep a lot… and even though I hardly sleep all night anymore, I try to make up for it during day. The thought of me at my desk, leaned backwards with my mouth open (snoring not so quietly) sent chills down my spine. Omo! no more swag, no more babe… Geez! oh well… I guess it comes with the territory. Surely, my colleagues will understand (I wish).

Sacrifice… a mother’s slogan. It is a mere shadow of what God does for us. I cannot imagine being so sovereign and yet so gentle. There are millions of unruly, stubborn, wicked people in this world that He has to deal with! Yet, He is ever so patient and kind.

I really need a miracle, more like the fruits of the Spirit to help me with this phase! I hope I do not become a cranky young lady, life is too sweet for that o. Na God go help me. Sweet dreams.

Something New…

Everyone loves gifts, especially if it comes as a surprise. Gifts are pleasant to the receiver, the first few moments spent with them are euphoric.
Gifts are given in many different ways; sometimes wrapped, sometimes bare, sometimes a surprise, sometimes expected.
The exchange of gifts began at the creation of man. God made the Garden of Eden – a safe home for Adam, He made the animals – companion for Adam, He made the woman – most suitable partner and companion for Adam. I believe He really is into the business of giving gifts, even salvation came through Grace – the “free” and “unmerited” favour of God. How awesome is that?!

I have been honoured with uncountable gifts from God. Growing up without an earthly father never felt so good as I believe that God adopting me as His, makes all the difference.
The gifts I have received from January 2014 to date are mind blowing, far beyond my expectations (God is in the business of blowing minds too!)  There is one gift that has turned my life around in ways I can hardly express, my most recent gift; my beautiful, sweet, ever-smiling, favoured daughter Elizabeth; who God gave not only as a gift to me and my family but also to the world! She is the answer to a prayer, God’s special gift to me. No one is fully prepared for the emotions and change that come with childbirth LOL it caught me off guard (& there I was believing I was ready!). One thing is for sure, you don’t know until you experience it.
I remember my first night with her at the hospital, I stared at her wondering who’s child she was! It felt surreal! I didn’t experience the whole ‘love at first sight’ thing people talk about. All I did was stare… I wondered if she was really mine, I wondered what I had gotten myself into, I wondered if God felt I was ready. The days after went by fast, adjusting was far more difficult than I imagined, but she is a gift and I knew all I needed was time. Time to accept that God counted me worthy of this gift, time to understand that He had provided me with everything I need to raise her! (Sometimes all we need to make sense of a weary situation is time).

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So cheers to the expectant parents, enjoy each moment in great anticipation for the bundle of joy to come; and to those who are in waiting, the God I serve who has taken away barrenness, sickness and pain from His children will meet you at the point of your needs. Testify in preparation for His blessings!